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• Insects Rule • | by Brendan Benson
Once knew a woman, she was skin and bones
Invited all the insects to come into her home
She trained them so well
They could answer her phone
The day finally came when the poor woman was overthrown
Her husband returned home from voyages at sea
To find his lovely wife dead and a spider sipping tea
He drew his knife and swore
He would have the spider's eyes
An army of red ants nearly took him by surprise
The sailor and his wife lay dead while neighbors peeked in
Outside the dogs were mesmerized
By the humming from within
News spread throughout the town of the insects' arrival
People gathered in the church to pray to God
And quote from the Bible
Men came with gasoline and torches abright
A billion flies covered the skies til it was dark as night
The cries were barely heard beneath the buzzing of the bees
Now the insects rule so get down on your knees
And the town crier said:
You God-fearing people had better beware
Gather up your idols and begin to prepare
The time has come, the locusts have taken the air
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