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Toby Keith » The Critic
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	Tell it like it is He gets up real early on his mornin' drive Down to the office for his 9 to 5 He drives a 94' two tone economy car Loves to tell the local bands down at the bar That he's the critic, yeah I can hook you up I know everybody in the business He flunked junior high band he couldn't march in time He tried to write a song once, but he couldn't make it rhyme He learned 2 or 3 chords on a pawn shop guitar He just never quite had what it took to be a star So he's a critic I work for the gazette man I got a real job He did a 5 star column on a band you never heard He did a bluegrass review without an unkind word He thought it was time to ask his boss for a raise His boss said I can't even tell if anybody's even readin' your page Yeah So he thought and he thought a little more He caught a young hot star headed into town Then he hid behind his typewriter and gunned the boy down Here come the letters, the emails, the he faxes They raised him to 20 thousand dollars after taxes He's a happy critic yeah He's rollin' in the dough Man I could do this forever This is easy They're all readin' my column Please don't tell my mama That I write the music column for the gazette She still thinks, that I play piano down at the cathouse Let's get funky with this now boys Play it on Come on Shannon There's ol' Bill jumpin' in Glenn's layin' it down Come on Shannon Aah My man Steve Man my fingers are gettin' tired Ya'll gonna have to hurry This snappin' thing wearin' me out Theres ol Shannon guess he was on a coffee break They're gonna love you cause they already love me Yeah It's the critic
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